Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Why One Might Want a Backup to VoIP Phone Service

Yesterday, the power company installed a new meter, which entailed a 5-second power outage. When the power came back, my VoIP phone service was out. I unplugged the VoIP modem and left it off for 2 minutes and then plugged it in again, but that failed to solve the problem. Now, my only telephone is this VoIP line provided by my local telecommunications giant. I still had Internet access, so I went to the LTG's website for help -- whenever you call any of their support phone numbers, they always make you sit there and listen to the suggestion that you can also get help all your problems can be solved by logging on to the Giant's Website!

I like my VoIP service. It's cheaper than maintaining a land line. The sound quality is good. And the VoIP support department is excellent. The fly in the ointment is getting to tech support when your phone is not working. I do not have a cell phone. Even if I had a cell phone, they charge you minutes whenever you have to call tech support for another company, and why should I have to use my phone when it's not working?

The LTG has not noticed or doesn't want to admit that its help chat "Need Help? Click for online chat" function is more of a sales thing than an actual support. Here is my chat transcript when I attempted to make contact with them to get help with my VoIP modem.

Chat               Information :Thank you for using NNNNN.com. A NNNNN Sales and Service Consultant will be with you in just a moment. Your account information is confidential and protected by law. Advise our agent if you prefer that we don't use it to market bundled services. This has no effect on the service or offers we provide for you.

Chat               Information :Thank you for contacting NNNNN. My name is [I’ve Changed the Name of the Rep to] Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number). How may I help you today?

Me: My NNNNN VoIP phone is not working.

Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number): I will be happy to assist you.

Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number): For more information or to order NNNNN Broadband Phone Service, please call 1-866-283-0043.

Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number): You would want to call this number.

Me: How can I phone them when I have no phone?

[waiting...]

Me: My VoIP phone service from NNNNN is not working.

[a considerable wait]

Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number): I'm sorry for the delay. I'll be right with you.

Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number): I am sorry.

Me: :)

Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number): Is there anything else that I can help you with today?

Me: Can you help me with my problem with my nonworking VoIP service?

[LONNNNNG WAIT ENSUED]

Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number): No, I am sorry.

Me: So how do I get help when the problem I'm contacting NNNNN about is that my VOIP Phone service is not working and I don't have a telephone?

Me: Perhaps I could shout really loudly? [I know, I'm a horrible person.]

Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number): I am sorry.

Me: I've always been convinced that these chat windows are "manned" by Artificial Intelligence instead of a real person. I am going to save this chat as further evidence in support of my hypothesis.

Me: So you have nothing to suggest?

Binky (Binky’s NNNNN employee number): No, Our group do not have anything to do with the Voip. I am sorry.

Me: So when I needed help and saw the “Need Help? Click Here for online chat” box, I should have taken that with a grain of salt. Or perhaps this is a new use of the word help with which I am unfamiliar.

At any rate, it turned out that my modem wasn't burnt out; it was merely sleeping or unconscious or recalcitrant. The next morning I unplugged the FIOS modem and the VoIP modem for a good long time-out, and when I plugged them back in I had phone service. Not sure what I'll do if the VoIP modem actually does buy the farm, but I won't be using the "Need Help? Click here" box.


Friday, October 22, 2010

iwl.me

I write (emails) like H. P. Lovecraft. Proof: http://iwl.me/s/147eabd8

I write dream journal entries like David Foster Wallace. I write fiction like H. P. Lovecraft. Or so says iwl.me, a site that allows you to paste a whole bunch of your written work, hit the "Analyze" button and presto voila! it comes back with an author you supposedly write like. I'm wondering if H. P. Lovecraft is the answer you get when the text analyzer software just gives up because you don't write like anyone.

Anyway, I saw someone refer to this on 4chan, and I amused myself with it for a good 15 minutes.

iwl.me