It is, in fact, a sub-list of this to which I add most often, namely "This Bible Is Clearly Missing Entire Chapters, and I'd Like to Return It, and Also, I Believe I'm Entitled to an Explanation and an Apology."
Where's the part where. . . ?
- Jesus publicly advises leaders of nations, and suggests that they put him on their campaign literature
- Jesus helps fight recession by endorsing brand-name products
- Representative of Jesus tells Corinthians that it is perfectly okay and even advisable to withhold salvation from and refuse church membership to certain undesirables, such as homosexuals, child molesters, liberal Democrats, and their friends and family, and also, on occasion, it's even okay to beat the snot out of them
- Jesus says, "Ew, I'm not healing a homosexual, child molester, or liberal Democrat. Be off and take your friends with you!"
- Jesus predicts invention of TV and exhorts church elders to make use of new invention for fund raising and membership building
- Jesus expresses clear preference for white, English-speaking, male Republicans from the United States
- Jesus not only fails to chase moneylenders (aka bankers) from temple, but actually dons a sandwich board and roams the streets soliciting them and, in a particularly dramatic passage, declaims at length the virtues of business and greed, and calls for churches everywhere to solicit funding from commercial enterprises in exchange for blessings and pulpit endorsements.
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