ghosting

Among today's Craigslist offerings for writers were two interesting opportunities. One person wanted to hire a ghostwriter to assist him in writing his "next bestseller," and another wanted someone to write his op ed piece (650 words) for him. (I wonder if they charge extra for coming up with opinions to ghostwrite.)

Oh my, what possibilities proliferate here! Let's see... I'm sure I can benefit from this whole new ghosting thing. Hmm, I do want to be known far and wide for my housekeeping skills. I wonder if I can get someone to ghost-clean my house? I also want to have a reputation as the world's best mom, so perhaps I can engage someone to ghost-nurture my children? Oh, and I want to be beautiful but alas, nature did not endow me with the requisite body, so I wonder if Craigslist has people who can ghost-represent me in all my appearances in public?

Of course, getting into a good college is key to a successful life, so perhaps it would be possible to advertise for someone to ghost-take my SAT and ghost-write my college admission essays? After my ghost-undergraduate ghost-graduates on my behalf, perhaps I can even hire a ghost-lawyer to ghost-sit for my bar exam or a ghost-doctor to pass my medical licensure exams should the ghost-law/medical student I've hired not be up to the task?

Perhaps I can engage a ghost-churchgoer to carry out my duties to God and a ghost-soldier to carry out my duty to my country? And I certainly have no desire AT ALL to die myself, so, I'll see you all later -- oh wait, someone-to-be-named-at-a-future-date will see you all later! I'm off to advertise for a ghost-corpse!